If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
