Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
