My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
