You're my little dorito
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
