I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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