Don't you send me to vm
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
