When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
