Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
