never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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