Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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