jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
