Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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