I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
