Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
