Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
