Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
