Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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