it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
