He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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