Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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