I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
