Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
