we're blogging at a bar
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
