I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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