i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I looked at my own cervix.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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