they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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