This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
be right there i have to get my cape
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
