So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
