Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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