she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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