I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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