So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
