No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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