You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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