Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
