Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
