so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
