i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
