everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is wine microwaveable?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
