Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Randomize
