drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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