Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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