I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
