HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
