dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
