Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
