My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
