I CAN MOONWALK!
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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