Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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