3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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